Monday, 14 November 2011

Love it Hate it

The person I hate the most is the person I love the most. The person is me. I wrote once that I am in love with myself. People said I was self-obsessed. Why so? If I had been in love with a girl it would be love. If it was a boy you all would laugh but still it would be love but if it’s with oneself it becomes obsession. I am sure the other part would make me highly depressed.

I wish to know what exactly love is. Isn’t it just a feeling and not a relation? When small things done by a person attracts you and makes you happy its love. When you wish to be with a person, its love. It can be anybody who makes you happy everyday of your life. I strongly oppose the idea that everyone got a soul mate otherwise great people like Swami Vivekananda, A.P.J Abdul Kalam would have been married. Two best friends of opposite sex always end up with love because they enjoy being with each other. Love is when you like the nature and behavior of the person irrespective of his flaws. Parent’s love is the only exception to it. It is totally divine and needs nothing to prove that its love. Why can’t I love myself? It’s just I love to be the way I am. Is it wrong to think like that? Who does not love himself? If anybody wishes to raise a hand I would say you are the most cowardly person I know. You don’t have the dare to tell the truth to yourself.
How many of you know, that the traits we like the least in ourself are the prime reason for someone to like us. It’s not always qualities but also our other part which makes someone fall in love. If you really don’t like one of your traits why don’t you change it? It’s the easiest task I suppose. I love myself as a whole. Irrespective of my flaws n bad qualities. I don’t want to be perfect, so its better I got these flaws.

I hate myself though.  I don’t have the guts to say this in public. I am afraid that my image would be lost. I try to be a tough and mature guy other than my friends. Some think I am a quite serious person with utter patience and am an introvert. It would just make my friend laugh till death. But the truth is I behave like this, because I am afraid. I hate myself for this. I can’t be my true self in front of a bunch of people who hardly care how I am, I hate myself. I love to fake myself to be good when the real Rahul is what people want from me. Hey, I am more confused than I am making u now. It is surprising that I wish to be this way.
Don’t be confused, I am just what u think of me. I will be like that all of the time. It’s just that different people got different opinions for me. That’s the reason to hate the love I got for me.


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