Love it Hate it

The person I hate the most is the person I love the most. The person is me. I wrote once that I am in love with myself. People said I was self-obsessed. Why so? If I had been in love with a girl it would be love. If it was a boy you all would laugh but still it would be love but if it’s with oneself it becomes obsession. I am sure the other part would make me highly depressed.

I wish to know what exactly love is. Isn’t it just a feeling and not a relation? When small things done by a person attracts you and makes you happy its love. When you wish to be with a person, its love. It can be anybody who makes you happy everyday of your life. I strongly oppose the idea that everyone got a soul mate otherwise great people like Swami Vivekananda, A.P.J Abdul Kalam would have been married. Two best friends of opposite sex always end up with love because they enjoy being with each other. Love is when you like the nature and behavior of the person irrespective of his flaws. Parent’s love is the only exception to it. It is totally divine and needs nothing to prove that its love. Why can’t I love myself? It’s just I love to be the way I am. Is it wrong to think like that? Who does not love himself? If anybody wishes to raise a hand I would say you are the most cowardly person I know. You don’t have the dare to tell the truth to yourself.

How many of you know, that the traits we like the least in ourself are the prime reason for someone to like us. It’s not always qualities but also our other part which makes someone fall in love. If you really don’t like one of your traits why don’t you change it? It’s the easiest task I suppose. I love myself as a whole. Irrespective of my flaws n bad qualities. I don’t want to be perfect, so its better I got these flaws.

I hate myself though.  I don’t have the guts to say this in public. I am afraid that my image would be lost. I try to be a tough and mature guy other than my friends. Some think I am a quite serious person with utter patience and am an introvert. It would just make my friend laugh till death. But the truth is I behave like this, because I am afraid. I hate myself for this. I can’t be my true self in front of a bunch of people who hardly care how I am, I hate myself. I love to fake myself to be good when the real Rahul is what people want from me. Hey, I am more confused than I am making u now. It is surprising that I wish to be this way.

Don’t be confused, I am just what u think of me. I will be like that all of the time. It’s just that different people got different opinions for me. That’s the reason to hate the love I got for me.

Chand se chandni

Chand se chandni chura launga,
Phoolon se khusbu uda launga,
Tu kahe to apni jaan de dun,
Jannat se khusiyan chupa launga....

चाँद  से  चांदनी  चुरा  लाऊंगा ,
फूलों  से  खुशबू  उड़ा  लाऊंगा ,
तू  कहे  तो  अपनी  जान  दे  दूँ ,
जन्नत  से  खुशियाँ  छुपा  लाऊंगा |

Sun le ae maalik

Gustakhe kaniz ki darkhast sun le ae malik,

Ulfat ke afsane ka aagaz sun le ae malik,
Ishq ki tadap ko itna bhi mat aazmana,
Ishq ki khwaish mein khud tadap baithe ae malik...


गुस्ताखे  कनीज़  की  दरखास्त  सुन  ले  ऐ  मालिक ,
उल्फत  के  अफसाने  का  आगाज़  सुन  ले  ऐ  मालिक ,
इश्क  की  तड़प  को  इतना  भी  मत  आज़माना ,
इश्क  की  ख्वाइश  में  खुद  तड़प  बैठे  ऐ  मालिक |

Will You Love Me?

Few days ago, chatting on facebook my friend said that it’s easy to write on love. One just needs to imagine about it and start writing.  Though none of the feelings of this world can be described without actually feeling it, which is totally my personal opinion. I didn’t wanna argue with her but I just tried to write something on it. After all, it’s my favourite word.

What’s love?  A question asked by almost every teenager. No one bets to know the answer but you can get a whole range of answers. It’s tough for me to answer this. I never had one. Hey! I am not talking about the love I get from my mother or brother or family members.  I would be lucky in that case but with a girl I am a bit unlucky.

I was infatuated for someone some time ago but that was not love. I forgot her soon after she left the place. I even felt once that my dark complexion was the cause for less number of girls falling for me. My brother who is said to be my look alike is fair and is quite handsome. So looks couldn’t lessen the number.

Leaving my case aside, let’s talk about love. Gosh, it’s real hard. Hey, don’t mind for I am trying to steal some ideas from the movies. Let’s take all time favourite kuch kuch hota hai, dil to pagal hai, SRK movies basically. Na,old enough for this generation. Why not vivah? Many would hate this idea of saying a love story in it but I like that movie. You can curse me for liking it. The actors played such great characters. It’s an ideal case just like our physics where all the questions are solved by assumption and nothing actually happens. What about these latest movies. Huh, it’s not real. Violins are never played while loving someone. All these ideas are so fake. May be, they are real. I don’t have any experience after all.

I am getting diverted. I got to say about love. But the thing is that I don’t know at all about it. Let’s describe love story of my friends. No one would know and also can’t doubt for something which is true. Naaa, its cheating. After all they just tell me what they did, not how they feel. Ahhh, it’s so tough to write about such a simple and common thing.

Hmmmm, lets imagine something. What could one feel after falling in love? Love ends the feeling of making yourself complete. Love gives you a reason to believe in god. Love lets you enjoy the pain.

        इश्क  का  आलम  होता  ही  ऐसा ,

        तन्हाई  में  भी  खुशियों  के  जैसा ,

        हर  आशिक  से  पूछ  लेना  तुम  यारो ,

        मोहब्बत  से  बढ़कर  नशा  न  होता |

Love is something divine and pure. What shit I am writing. There are more break-ups than proposals. Love can’t be divine and not at all pure. So what is love? I got to write something dude. Please god, help me. He is so partial no. God grants love to some, many times in their life but have not allowed me to become even a one-sided lover.

What the hell, I never even had one-sided love. Holy crap, It’s the biggest crime I have done till now. Help me friends. Please, I request you guys help me find someone. I wanna feel the beauty of loving someone. I wish to care for someone more than my life. I wish to wait and still not be angry for being late. I want to buy gifts and bring surprises in someone’s life. I want to make someone feel that love is both pure and divine. Hey! Will you love me?

Thanks for hating me

How much can anybody hate a person?

I have been thinking this for 1 hour and the thoughts have stolen my sleep. The restlessness forced me to write down my views. My roomie is sleeping in a way I would imagine a bunny sleeping. Can I hate him? Isn’t it amazing that it’s hard to hate the person you like even though they may have the same qualities which are the prime reason for hating someone?

I hate a lot of people in my life. Most of them return this favor too. I want to be my true self so I even show these people that their presence are not welcomed in my life. Rarely anybody got this idea that it’s important for you that you are hated. It shows that you have got people who take interest in you. They would buy surely buy a ticket for your concert, let it be to find anything. They would talk behind your back. They would never let you go out of focus.

The best thing I love about some people is the way to hate. I really love their way to make a person believe that they are such good friends but would try their best to bring their life in the dungeons of hell. It needs such good acting skills with patience to tolerate that person. I would like to try their way for it would surely sharpen my brain with all that planning n plotting. It’s tough to be that way, trust me; I tried but always over burst.

I believe that hate is even stronger than love. If we leave aside the typical movie stories, I feel hate has always won over love. May it be heer-ranjha, laila-majnu, romeo-juliet or any famous character. They all became so famous just because someone’s hate won over their love. Even the famous characters “Raj-Simran” from Dilwale Dulhaniyan Le Jayenge are remembered because of the hate of Simran’s father for love marriage. We can easily hate the person we used to love but vice versa is an imaginary situation.

It’s necessary that you are hated. Being an average human you would always want to show them that you are better than them. You will be improving every day. Even hatred brings a lot of energy. Though it’s not good for health but can be used for some necessary situations. Hatred burns calory, a remark for people who wish to go to gym.

I feel lucky, I am not perfect and there are people who deeply hate me. I would love to tell them that you know and would have said it a hundred times that I am very egoistic. I dislike saying sorry but I rarely say thanx even to my friends. I don’t do such courtesy. So everyone who brings energy in my veins by hating me and allowing me to return the favour. Thanks for hating me, It’s an honour.

इंसानियत

इंसान  हम  कहते  खुद  को , इंसानियत  पूजा  करते  हैं ,

भंवर  में  फंसे  लोगों  को  देख , आँखें  बंद  कर  चलते  हैं ,

गलतियाँ  खुद  कर  के  हम , देश  को  आगे  करते  हैं ,

फिर  गौरवांकित  होकर , इसको  पिछड़ा  कहते  हैं |

इंसानियत  के  चोले  में , हैवानियत  छुपाई  है ,

राक्षशों  से  बढ़कर , अपनी  शख्सियत  बनाई  है ,

लहू  के  रंग  का  आज , चढ़ा  ये  कैसा  भंग  है ,

कतरा  कतरा  चीख  रहा , कैसा  ये  प्रचंड  है |

धर्म  के  नाम  मारना  है , बिन  बात  मार  डालेंगे ,

लाशों  के  इस  ढेर  पे , आशियाँ  बनाई  है ,

खुदा  के  बन्दे  कहते  खुद  को , नमाज़  भी  न अदा  की ,

मंदिरों  में  जा  कर  उन्होंने , सिर्फ  घंटियाँ  बजायी  है |

आग  जो  लगानी  है  तो , सीने  में  जगाओ  तुम ,

लाशें  जो  बिछानी  है , देश  के  दुश्मनों  को  मारो  तुम ,

मरते  हैं  तो  रोज़  लोग , तुम  क्या  ख्याति  पाओगे ,

शान  से  जिओगे , और   शहीद  कहलाए  जाओगे |

Ankita

A sweet poem for my dear friend Ankita. 

She is sweet, she is cute,

Posses the most wonderful smile,

She can make you fall in love,

With her unique funtoosh style…..

Lucky to have such a friend,

It’s a bad luck for her,

Hates to be called an angel,

So can’t even nickname her…..

She loves to hear good about her,

Hardly have I ever done,

Her qualities make me feel jealous,

I have not got even one…..

Don’t dare you flirt with her,

Her innocence is just a devise,

Her anger can remind you of,

Worst thunders of the sky…..

If you wanna get attention of her,

She loves 5-star with almonds,

Her heart is a mine of coal,

Filled inside with diamonds…..

Her trust is power of her,

She would die for a friend,

We love her, the way she is,

Love is, all we send…….

I love my friends

Boasting about the circle of friends,

I felt lonely one day,

I knew it was just for a while,

But I got scared today….

My friends love me the way I am,

I don’t care what others say,

They say I am as hard to get,

Like a needle in a pile of hay….

They completely changed my mentality,

The changes were amazing to know,

They said it was my childishness,

Which earlier I considered to be my ego….

They never complained if I ignored them,

I was running for the filthy fame,

When the mistake was from their side,

I wish I could behave the same….

I thought I was the chosen one,

They let me live in dreams,

My attitude with anger were ignored,

My happiness was preferred it seems….

They knew I could hear the truth,

But lies were their major part,

God knows who told my deep dark secret,

That I was weak from the heart….

My friends are great and pure by heart,

They will forgive me without explanation,

I am not weak to say sorry to them,

May be its just my imagination….

Sitting in my room all alone now,

Names is all I could remember,

For in the rain of passing time,

I forgot to renew myself as a member….

I love u

“Rahul, I love her yaar. Help me, I cant say to her.”

This is what I get to hear often. Every week one of my friends would find their “true love”. Then the whole sentimental scenario begins until they find their next “true love”. This is common, in case of boys who are simple and good guys. God knows what makes them so scared just to say I LOVE YOU to a girl.

Today something was different. It was not any of those Mr. A but my dear friend Miss X.

In India, if you are a girl, you are sure to get atleast 1 proposal in your lifetime. Its easy for them for they rarely get an opportunity to propose a guy. This favour has turned into ego of these stupid girls. They think it to be against their self-respect to take the initiative of saying these three simple words. They will say a hell lot of meaningless things to guys but not I LOVE YOU.

The guy was unknown for me. I couldn’t help her much other than boosting her up. She was better than me at public speaking. She was not at all shy and had the capability of scaring a ghost. Wow, even she is scared of the three most romantic words.

“You know he loves me too.”

“Oh, he said that.”

“No, but the way he treats me, I feel so. He cares about my every little detail.”

You mustn’t let a girl continue the story until you are free for next hour.

“Then you must say it to him.”

“How can I say?”

“Call him. When he picks up the phone, say I LOVE YOU.”

“I am a girl yaar, he should propose first.”

I love to argue. Knowing that girls are better at this, I started. Half an hour later, I had given various examples and motivational speeches and she would always run in a circle and come to her favourite part that she is a girl. I lost it.

Two weeks later, her friend who studied in her class proposed her. She said no, and cried a lot wishing it had been her “Mr. Y”.

Three months have passed. 
Mr. Y still loves her but has not yet proposed. My friend has become the girlfriend of Mr. A. The guy proposed again and this time turned it into acceptance. My friend Miss. X is very happy with him but just wishes Mr. Y to know that he was her 1^st love. 

Fire of Love

Fire has been flowing inside me,

Its not for love or anger,

It’s the pain for being in a place,

Where everyone seems like a stranger…..

Some say there is good in me,

Its not me, just my soul,

Truth is what, I also know,

I am not diamond, just a piece of coal…..

Wished for love, I got it,

I doubt on, its sincerity,

My actions fastened the pace of,

Negative impacts on my prosperity…..

I am not unique, there are many more,

None of them, has got you,

There are just two, I trust now,

My shadow, other is you…..

I conserve everything you have given to me,

May it be the love or pain gifted to me,

I am still searching for someone like you,

If it was possible I would not have loved you…..

Tadap ka aalam

Tadap ka ye aalam kaisa hai janam,
Dur jakar tadpa jate hain log,
Dooriyon se kabhi na tadpaya tune,
Dusron ke paas jakar tadpate ho roz.......


तड़प  का  ये  आलम  कैसा  है  जानम ,
दूर  जाकर  तडपा  जाते  हैं  लोग ,
दूरीयों  से  कभी  न  तडपाया  तूने ,
दूसरों  के  पास  जाकर  तडपते  हो  रोज़ ..........

Pathar ka dil

Chand shabdon mein usne mera katl kar diya,
Kaha dil mera pathar ka insaan ka nahi,
Kehte hain log pathar ro nai sakta,
Kya karun mera dil dikhta bhi to nai.......

चन्द शब्दों  में  उसने  मेरा  कत्ल  कर  दिया ,

कहा  दिल  मेरा पत्थर  का  इंसान  का  नहीं ,

कहते  हैं  लोग  पत्थर  रो  नहीं  सकता ,

क्या  करूँ  मेरा  दिल  दिखता  भी  तो  नहीं........

My kota story

Every one got a 1st crush & they remember it their whole life. I found mine in Kota. Unlike the very few people in this world, I couldn't impress mine. Cuteness n simplicity with a rare combo of beauty n brain is what she was. She was my 1st inspiration so its important to mention her also. I made some of my best compositions on her. An old composition but true n very close to my heart. For the 1st time I had tried to use some urdu words in any of my creation.

उनकी  ख़ामोशी  क़यामत  से  कम  न  थी ,

सादगी  भरी  खूबसूरती  भी  कातिलाना  थी,

सबसे  प्यारी  लगती  वो  तब  मुझे ,

जब  हंसती  और  मुस्कुराती  थी |

हम  तो  उनसे  इश्क  कर  बैठे ,

पर  दिल-ए-दास्ताँ  बयां  न कर  सके,

उनके इश्क  का  आलम  ये  था,

खुद  को  उनके  काबिल  भी  न  समझ सके |

उन्हें  हमारी  मोहब्बत  का अंदाज़ा  तो  लगा,

उनपर  इसका  कोई  असर  न  पड़ा,

देखा  एक  दफा  मुस्कुराकर  हमे,

खुशियाँ  समेटने  को  हमारा  दामन  कम  पड़ा |

हमने  उनसे  बात  करने  को  हिम्मत  जुटाई,

पर पास  जाकर  कुछ  कह  न  पाए,

इश्क  का  इज़हार  तो  दूर  ही  था,

बड़ी  जद्दो-जहद  से दोस्ती  के लिए  पूछ  पाए |

हम  उनकी  साजिश  को  समझ न  सके,

मुस्कुराकर देखना  तो  बहाना  निकला ,

इश्क  क्या  उन्हें  हमसे  मतलब  न  था,

हमारा  मजाक  उड़ना  उनका  मकसद  निकला  |

कोई  कसर  न  छोड़ी  तड़पाने  में  हमे,

वो  तो  सारी  हद  पार  कर  गए,

एक  दफा  ही आये  सपनो  में  हमारे,

उसमे  भी  दूसरे  के  साथ  निकल  लिए |

फिर  भी  ये  दिल  चाहता  है  उन्हें,

उनकी  नाराज़गी  पर  भी  मुझे  ऐतबार  है,

कोई  शिकवा  नहीं  है  मुझे  उनसे,

आज  भी  मुझे  उनका  इंतज़ार  है |

बस  मेरा  एक  छोटा  सा  काम  कर  देना,

हमारे  दिल  की  दास्ताँ  उन्हें  बता  देना,

हो  सके  तो  एक  पल  के  लिए  ही  सही,

उनका  दिल  हमारे  लिए  धड़का  देना |

I saw u crying

It was maths lecture and I came 10 mins late for the class.
I went and sat at the last bench which had been surprisingly empty along with the row in-front of it.
2 mins later the most beautiful girl of our batch came to the class.
She took a seat in the row in-front of me and just diagonal to me.
It was hard paying attention to the complex equation which has always been Greek to me.
It was sometime later that I noticed something dreadful.
She was crying.
Yeah, indeed she was.
It amazed me that her silent tears could also cause pain in my heart.
After all she was in the heart of almost every single guy sitting there.
There was none by her side to see this or console her except me.
I raised my hand to give her a pat but it only raised few inches and couldn't move forward.
I couldnt say anything but drafted this on my notebook.



Today I saw u crying,
Something broke into my heart,
Tried but couldnt ask the reason,
I am not that smart....


I knew u will not tell me,
Dared not to even try,
Thats whats hurting me now,
But cant even cry.....


Even if get to know the reason,
Would you let me help you,
I wanna reduce this pain,
Afraid to talk to u.....


Now u are smiling,
You r luking very nice,
Tell before it kills me,
Its real or devise...

Teri khubsurati

Teri khubsurati ki kya karu prashansha,
Dhoondnen se shabd nai milte mujhe,
Aati hogi amawashya jarur usi din,
Dekh leta hoga jis din chand tujhe......

तेरी खूबसूरती की  क्या  करूँ  प्रशंषा,

ढूँढने से  शब्द  नहीं  मिलते  मुझे ,

आती  होगी  अमावश्या  जरुर  उसी  दिन ,

देख  लेता  होगा  जिस  दिन  चाँद  तुझे ..........